Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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