Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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