Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
