Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
