I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
