i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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