New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
