the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
