another moral hangover. fuck.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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