and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize