Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
