the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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