So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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