You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize