Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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