we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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