I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
