im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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