His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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