She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
