There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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