More tranny stories later!
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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