well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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