It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
