Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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