It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
