I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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