I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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