As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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