I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have fence marks all over my body
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize