did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
