Rock
Scissors
Fuck
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
