is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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