one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
