arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
