About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize