trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
