We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
