Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
