DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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