We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
