My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize