she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
