I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
