When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
