I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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