"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize