hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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