just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
