I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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