This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
