There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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