So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
