Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Let's get the cat blown out
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