I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
