these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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