You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just high enough for therapy.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
