Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize